


Frozen Variations

by Insectoid



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Heiress AU, Shardsverse Alternate Canon, domestic assassin au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-13 13:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14112930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insectoid/pseuds/Insectoid
Summary: A collection of one-shots and short stories set in Frozen AUs ("variations" on the canon, or crossovers with other media).  Currently has 10 stories.  (Story ratings vary, but T overall to be safe.  Updates infrequently, as inspiration strikes; new stories will be added when written.  Subscribe and comment!)





	1. Dazed and Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of several fics set in the Domestic Assassin AU.  Elsa pulls an all-nighter, and Anna is annoyed because she slept half the day, _without even changing her clothes_.  Word count: 410.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found the inspiration to do a little thing for Frozen Fandom Month AUs Week (just in time for it to be over).  It is set in the "Domestic Assassin" AU (created by Ultranos, and contributed to by many others), which is a modern AU where Elsa is an affably-amoral assassin-for-hire, taking hit jobs to pay for Anna's med school.  In this 'verse, Kristoff is a police officer who is dating Anna, and becoming suspicious of Elsa's behavior.  The stories generally take place either before Anna discovers her sister's secret life, or after; this one is post-reveal.

It was a lovely Saturday, and Anna Arendelle had hoped she could take her dorky sister out and do something _fun,_ for a change.  Between med school, worrying about Elsa's health, and worrying about her cop boyfriend Kristoff discovering Elsa's secret life, Anna needed a change of pace once in a while.

But it was two in the afternoon, and Elsa was _just now_ coming downstairs, bleary-eyed and blinking.  She had one of their numerous cats draping on one shoulder, looking much more awake than his owner.  She hadn't even changed out of her blood-stained clothes yet!

"Good 'morning'," Anna said drily.  "Rough night?"

"Mm-hmm," Elsa mumbled, clearly half-asleep as she poured herself a cup of coffee, nearly missing the cup.

Every time that Anna had to deal with Elsa having pulled an all-nighter, she wound up talking to someone who was so oblivious to her own surroundings, that Anna wondered why Elsa hadn't mistakenly come home to the _wrong house._   (Hence the fresh-brewed pot of coffee.)

 _And she claims to be an_ assassin, Anna thought.  "You know, it's bad enough that you... you..."  Even now, knowing her secret, it was hard for her to say.

"Just say it," Elsa muttered, putting the steaming cup to her lips.

" _Kill people,_ " Anna blurted, exasperated.  "I can deal with you getting back home at dawn, and sleeping half the day."  True, she was at med school most of those times, but...  "But for you to come home looking like that, and not even _changing...!_ "

"Like what?" her sister asked.  The cat gave a soft meow and hopped down onto the table, before jumping down to the floor to go find his friends.

"Like _that!_." Anna said, pointing at Elsa's soiled clothes.

"What's wrong with it?" Elsa said, apparently not comprehending.

"You're covered in _blood,_ Elsa," Anna said, annoyed at having to spell it out for her.  "And I'm afraid to ask whose it is!"

"Mostly... mine," Elsa managed to get out, between sips of coffee.  "May have tripped over a rose bush... or three..."

"Oh, Elsa..." Anna said, rolling her eyes.  "Come on.  Let's get you cleaned up, and then maybe we can go do something fun, with what's left of the day."  _And maybe Kristoff won't ask too many questions,_ Anna thought, thinking of the blond-haired police officer.

"Mm-kay," Elsa mumbled.  She kept a tight grip on her coffee mug as Anna led her away from the dining room to change.


	2. An Unexpected Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna asks Kristoff to house-sit and look after Elsa, who she claims is “indisposed”.  He does his best, but inadvertently discovers Elsa’s secret.  Word count: 1,705.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another installment of dorky assassin (Domestic Assassin), for your reading pleasure.  It was partly inspired by a DA!verse drabble on Tumblr.  Once I started on it, it sort of got away from me, starting out humorous and then suddenly veering off into drama.
> 
> This is, again, post-reveal; Anna is in the know, but Kristoff is not.

Kristoff was really expecting something a little more... well, _normal_ , when he had asked Anna Arendelle out all those weeks ago.  Oh, sure, they had gone on a couple of dinner-and-a-movie dates, and he'd thought that they got along rather well together.

Until Anna had asked him to house-sit one afternoon, her needing to go to med school, and her sister, Elsa, being "indisposed".  She hadn't said, in their brief conversation on the phone, what either of those things actually _meant_ —just to come over and keep an eye on things.

"Thanks, Kristoff, you're a life saver!" she said, giving him a peck on the cheek as she dashed past him out the front door.  "Don't wake Elsa, okay?"

"Uh, okay," he replied, watching as she all but leaped into her car and drove off.  He wasn't sure how to feel about that little peck she'd given him, but he could muse about that later.

Right now he was much more focused on not falling on his face, for not three steps into the house, he nearly tripped over a cat laying on the floor.  Looking around, he noted that it wasn't the only one, not by a long shot.  In fact, Kristoff estimated that there were at least a dozen felines in the front room alone.

 _Okay,_ he thought.  _So one or both of them likes cats a lot.  Nothing wrong with that._   He bent to give the one he stumbled over a friendly scratch on the head, but it glared at him and trotted off.

Kristoff walked over to the small dining table and sat, deciding to check his equipment.  He'd had to get special permission from the police sergeant just to be here, on-call only for an emergency.  But for some reason, Sgt. Wesel actually seemed interested in the Arendelles—the mysterious older sister, in particular.  Kristoff had no idea why this might be.

 _Surely he couldn't be worried about Elsa being a crazy cat lady, right?_ he mused.  For the sergeant to be interested in something like this, there must be something else going on besides living in a house full of cats.

Satisfied with the state of his equipment, Kristoff got up and walked over to what he presumed was the living room: there were several chairs and a couch, and a number of coffee tables piled high with magazines.  _Bingo,_ he thought, choosing the pile next to the couch.  It was a good way to discover more about a person you didn't know well: see what kind of magazines they liked.

Fashion magazines, apparently—he thought of Anna, always knowing what to wear for every occasion.  A peck on the cheek—did that mean she liked him?  He supposed so, but had no idea what to say or do in return, and he didn't know if he had the courage to ask.  _Time_ , _People_ , all pretty normal.  _Cat Fancy_ —no kidding.  _Better Homes and Gardens_ , some nursing magazines, _Rifle Enthusiast_ —wait, what?

That last was at the very bottom of the magazine pile.  Kristoff stared at it, dumbfounded.  Surely not Anna's—she had never shown any interest in weapons of any sort, not even his own (beyond asking why he had one on a simple dinner date).  Well, one suspicious magazine wasn't proof of anything.  Technically, he shouldn't be searching for anything without a warrant, to say nothing of rifling through his girlfriend's things.

Replacing the magazines just as he'd found them (with the rifle one on bottom), he prepared to return to his spot at the dining table, when he heard noises from another part of the house.  Assuming that it was Anna's mysterious sister waking up, he decided to do the thoughtful thing and make her some coffee (one of the few details Anna had let slip about her sister was her love of the beverage).

In the kitchen, he was amused to find a note from Anna, saying just that:

_Kristoff,_

__

__

If Elsa wakes up while you're here, make her some coffee, okay?  Instructions are near the pot.  Don't do anything to agitate her.

_Anna ♥_

His mouth twitched at the little heart.  Reading the instructions on the coffee pot (which, oddly, called for far more coffee grounds than he expected any one person to need), he started the coffee maker percolating, then whirled when he heard footsteps behind him.

Standing there was a young woman, probably close to his age, with disheveled, almost-white blonde hair and pale blue eyes, as well as a scowl on her face.  "Who are _you?_ " she demanded, seeming quite alert already for someone who hadn't had coffee yet.

Evidently, Anna hadn't told her sister that he was coming.  "I'm Kristoff Bjorgman," he said.  "Anna might have mentioned me?  She asked me to look after you today, until she gets back from school.  Claimed you were... indisposed."  Despite the fact that it was nearly one in the afternoon, she was clearly not any such thing.

"She would," Elsa said.  "She's probably told you all about me."

"Not really, no," Kristoff replied.  "She did mention that you like coffee."

"Very thoughtful of her," Elsa said, going to a cupboard and pulling out a mug.  Kristoff covered his mouth quickly to keep his laughter from escaping; the mug she selected had " **#1 DORKY SIS** " printed on it.

Propping herself awkwardly on a bar stool at the counter, the blonde woman looked him up and down critically, eyes widening a fraction when she noticed his attire and equipment.  "She completely failed to mention that you were a police officer," Elsa said, her tone sounding guarded.

"Well, I would have taken the day off, but Wesel wouldn't hear of it," Kristoff admitted.

"The Weasel?" Elsa said, voice closer to panic now.  "Why are you here, Officer Bjorgman?"

"Yes, the Weasel," Kristoff said patiently.  "He seems interested in you, um, Miss Arendelle, but I have no idea why.  You don't need to worry; I'm here as a favor to Anna, not on official business."

She relaxed sightly, stammering, "G-good."  A moment passed, then she said, "You can call me Elsa, you know,"

"And you can call me Kristoff... Elsa."  The coffee had finished brewing, so he took the pot out and filled Elsa's mug.  "Want any cream or anything?"

"No, black is fine," Elsa answered, accepting the mug.  Inexplicably, a noticeable amount of steam rose from where she touched it, and Kristoff goggled when she took a sip without so much as blowing on it.  _How on earth...?_

"I noticed that you've been reading our magazines," Elsa said suddenly, jolting Kristoff out of his speculations.

"What?" he said, startled by this abrupt change of topic.

"The magazines," Elsa repeated, taking another sip.  "The pile next to the couch has been disturbed since I saw it last."

"I was merely curious," Kristoff said carefully.  "Your sister hasn't really told me much about you."

"Curious enough to reach the bottom of the pile?" the blonde said drily.

 _Okay, she's onto me.  No more point in beating around the bush._   "Okay, so the Weasel's interest bothers me a little.  You're Anna's sister, and she would never forgive me if I let you get hurt."  He paused, then said, "Are... _are_ you the one he's looking for?  The so-called 'domestic assassin'?"

The _click_ of a handgun safety was all the warning he had, before he was pinned to his chair, with a gun barrel pointed at his head.

"Yes, I am," Elsa said coldly, hand gripping the handgun tightly under his chin.  "But I can't afford to let the Weasel find that out."

"Elsa, _please,_ " Kristoff yelped, "I'm not here to arrest you!  Please don't give me a reason to..."

"Hello?" Anna's voice echoed fron the entry room.  "Kristoff?  Elsa?  They let us out early, so I decided to come straight home."  When Anna walked into the kitchen and saw them, she froze, and let out a shrill, " _Elsa, **stop!**_ "

"Anna, he knows my secret," Elsa said calmly, but let go of Kristoff and sat back down.

"All this just from wanting to see what magazines you girls liked," Kristoff said, rubbing his jaw.  He moved to stand up, but Elsa was faster.

"Stay _put!_ " she snapped, gesturing with her free hand.   Kristoff suddenly found himself unable to move his feet; looking down, he saw that they were encased in ice!

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded of Elsa.  "And... _how_ are you doing this?"

"You're obviously working for the Weasel, even if you won't admit it," the blonde said, tone cold as the ice around his feet.  "And I can't let him find out about me, not from _anyone!_ "

"Elsa, _wait!_ " Anna shouted.  "Kristoff doesn't even _like_ the Weasel!"

 _That_ gave Elsa some pause.  "Really," she said.  "Then why are you working for him?"

"It's a good job," Kristoff replied.  "But I think Sgt. Wesel is a little... _crooked._   He probably has the force focused on finding you, to draw attention away from himself."

"Hmm," Elsa mumbled.  "Well, it's still risky to keep you around."

"Elsa, please," Anna said hurriedly.  "Give him a chance."

"A _chance?_ " Elsa blurted.  "Anna, he's a _cop._ "

"But he can help us!" Anna insisted, turning to Kristoff.  "Can't you?"

Kristoff sighed.  It would probably cost him his job (or land him in jail, if he wasn't careful), but he would do anything to keep Anna and her sister safe.

"I can help you, yes," he said.  "Try to keep Wesel off your trail, I mean.  But I'm putting my job and my life on the line, so if I agree, you need to do something for me."

"Such as...?" Elsa inquired.

"Tell me who you work for, and why, for one," Kristoff said.  "That will help me keep Wesel from getting too close again."

"'One' implies more," Elsa said coolly.

"Well..." Kristoff paused, then indicated his feet.  "I'd like very much to know how it is I'm on ice, and not in the freezer."  He struggled with the ice some more, then added, "Sometime before I get frostbite."

"Let him go, Elsa," Anna sighed, then said to him, "We'll tell you everything."

"Anna..." Elsa trailed off, seeing Anna pouting.  She sighed.  "All right.  But only because you like each other."


	3. Fluff for Brains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rough day, both Elsa and Anna seek some feline comfort.  Word count: 345.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fluffy Domestic Assassin drabble was partly inspired by a recent headcanon about Anna studying neuroscience in med school (which I helped prompt, accidentally), and by a fanart of same.  The title can be interpreted more than one way. ;)

Anna knew that med school was going to be hard work.  She'd thought that she might even enjoy some of the classes—anatomy, biochemistry, genetics, cell biology.  Neuroscience, on the other hand...

"Stupid... freaking... brains!" she shouted, slamming her head on the open book in frustration, scattering pencil and papers around the table.  She'd been studying this nonsense for hours and hours, dragging into the wee hours of the morning.

Anna had decided, not too long ago, that she hated neuroscience.  Trying to understand the subject was like... like trying to understand how her dorky, clumsy, unassuming, cat-loving sister could possibly be an assassin—and be _good_ at it.

 _Speak of the devil,_ she thought, hearing a loud _thump_ at the front door.  The door opened, letting a chilly breeze into the room, and in staggered Elsa Arendelle, Ice Queen and domestic assassin, looking as if willpower alone was holding her upright.

Dumping her equipment in the nearest out-of-sight place (the closet), Elsa stared at her sister for a moment, before mumbling something that sounded enough like "Why're you still up?" that Anna understood.

"I could ask the same," Anna replied.  "Elsa, you look totally wrecked."

"Mm-hmm." the blonde mumbled.  She shuffled over to the living area, where there was an ample number of cats waiting for her.  She stared at them for a minute, before flopping onto the couch near one of the fluffy groups, and proceeding to snuggle in with them, as if they were her pillows.

It was the cutest damn thing Anna had seen all week, even though she was worried about Elsa's health.  Stifling a yawn, she turned back to her book.  The words on the page made even less sense now, letters blurring together from her own lack of sleep.  Glancing over at the peacefully sleeping form of her sister—with a gaggle of cats keeping her warm—and then back at her book, Anna finally gave up.

 _Screw the stupid brains,_ she thought, closing the book.  She stood, muscles aching from sitting, and went to go join her sister in fluffy bliss.


	4. A Bite Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa finds a new kind of super-caffienated chocolate, but is dismayed when Anna decides to try some.  Written (loosely) for the Anna Week 2015 prompts “Talking to the Pictures on the Walls” and “The Screw-Up”.  Word count: 1,444.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first entry for Anna Week 2015, presented mostly-unedited for your amusement.  It doesn't follow one prompt, exactly... both "Talking to the Pictures on the Walls" and "The Screw-Up" could potentially fit this.  It is set in Ultranos's Domestic Assassin AU.
> 
> This was mostly inspired by a recent Tumblr post by Ultranos about "Awake Chocolate", but also partly by some recent caffeine-related DA!verse fics.

It was a normal morning for Anna—well, as normal as things got around the Arendelle household.  She had the day off from med school classes, her crazy assassin sister was out on some errand or other (Anna never asked, because she usually _really_ didn't want to know), and she was planning to meet Kristoff later that day when he got off duty.

She was sitting at the dining room table, still half picking at her breakfast and half glancing at the newspaper, when Elsa returned, making Anna nearly leap out of her chair when she came bursting through the front door.

"Hi, Anna, guess what I found!" Elsa said without preamble, closing the door behind her.

 _Should I be very afraid right now?_ Anna thought.  Aloud, she said, "I take it from your unusually cheerful tone that it's something good?"

"Of course," the blonde replied, setting the bag she'd brought home on the table next to Anna.

Anna peeked inside, and asked dryly, "You came running home like you'd messed up a job, or you were on the run from the cops, all for _chocolate?"_

Elsa held a hand up.  "This is no ordinary chocolate, Anna!" she said excitedly, pulling a modest-size chocolate bar from the bag, and held it up to show her the label.  "It's super-chocolate.  And before you ask, I _didn't_ shoot anyone to get it."

"'Wakeful Chocolate'?" Anna read aloud.  "So, what's in it?"

"As much caffeine as a whole cup of coffee," Elsa replied.  "Possibly more.  Not something for snacking on, or even for dessert.  Unless you start working nights like me."

"Can I try one?" Anna asked.

"I . . . guess," Elsa said hesitantly.  "Just don't expect to get to sleep at your usual hour."

"Fine, I can deal with that," Anna dismissed, grabbing a bar at random from the bag.

"Um, Anna . . ." Elsa said, suddenly looking worried.

"What?"  Anna peeled back the wrapper, noting that it looked like dark chocolate, except darker.  "I said I could handle it, and you said I could have one, Elsa."  She took a bite, and added, "Hey, this is really good."

Elsa fidgeted anxiously.  "Anna, maybe you should stop."

"Don't be silly," Anna finished off the little bar, leaving the wrapper on the table, and sat back, wondering what would happen when it kicked in.

"Anna, there's something very important I forgot to tell you," Elsa said, voice rising in her panic.  Picking up the wrapper and straightening it out, she held it so Anna could see the whole thing.  _"There's more than one kind!"_ she cried, pointing to the words in bold print below the name: _EXTRA STRENGTH._

Anna slapped her forehead.  "Now you tell me . . ." she moaned, slouching in her chair.  "Some med student I am, brought down by a simple dosage mistak—whoaaaaah."  She nearly fell out of the chair when the caffeine hit.

* * *

"Well, you're not going to make Nursing Student of the Year," Elsa said, helping Anna sit up so that she wouldn't get any dizzier, "and I may miss my job tonight, but you've learned a lesson.  If you even remember any of this..."

"Wait, what?  Miss your _job??"_ the redhead yelped, leaping out of the chair.  "I may not approve of it, Elsa, but it's paying the bills, and I feel just fine, really!  I feel like I could jog around the block a few times.  A few dozen.  Somewhere in that zone."

"Sorry, Anna," Elsa said sternly, putting a hand on Anna's shoulder to stop her, "but that stuff is going to have you totally wired all day and night, so I don't think it's a good idea to let you out of the house."  She turned Anna so she could look her right in the eyes.  "Please, _please_ don't make me use anything resembling force, okay?" she pleaded.

"But, but . . . I was planning on meeting Kristoff at the coffee shop later!" Anna complained, shoulders drooping in disappointment.

"Well, I suppose he could meet you here," Elsa suggested.  "But absolutely no coffee for you."  Glancing around, she got an idea.  "Why don't I call him, and you can tidy up the place?"

"Great idea, Elsa!" Anna said, oddly excited at the prospect of cleaning the house.  She promptly dashed off to find supplies.

 _That's what I thought,_ Elsa mused.  Now that Anna was out of sight, she quickly grabbed the bag of nuclear-coffee chocolates, and dashed out of the room, all the way to the large, fridge-sized gun safe in the garage.  Unlocking it, she placed the bag inside, in an empty spot next to one of her handguns.  She closed and locked it, briefly wondering whether she would need anything from it in the next few hours.  Deciding against it, she headed back to the kitchen.

Quickly locating Anna's cell phone (where it always was in the morning, plugged into its charger), Elsa turned it on, and looked up Kristoff's number.  Dialing with her own phone, she smirked and thought, _She'll be cleaning for_ hours _on that buzz she's got . . ._

* * *

"How is she doing?" Kristoff asked Elsa when she answered the door.  It was mid-afternoon, the earliest he'd told her he could get off duty to come help with this latest Arendelle fiasco.  He had been rather surprised to hear Elsa's voice on the phone, since _she_ was usually the one getting herself in trouble.

"Pretty good, given her condition," Elsa replied.  "She's pretty much just been cleaning the house since I called."  She led Kristoff into the now-spotless entryway, closing and locking the door behind her.

"She's been cleaning for over _four hours?"_ Kristoff breathed, following Elsa to the kitchen.  He knew Anna could be hyper sometimes, but still . . .

"Straight," the blonde confirmed.  "She seems to be taking extra time with the pictures on the walls, for some reason . . ."

Sure enough, when they got to the kitchen, they could hear Anna's voice chattering away from the direction of the stairs.  Elsa and Kristoff peeked around the corner into the next room, and saw Anna standing in front of one of the many pictures hanging in the stairwell.  ". . . So I was saying to Elsa, 'Why can't you just use your ice to keep the house cool?  Then we wouldn't have to pay for air conditioning!'  But she's like, 'No, Anna, it would take too much _energy_ for me to do that' and I'm all, 'Yeah, _right,_ Elsa . . .'"

"Why _don't_ you do that?" Kristoff whispered.

"Can't keep a low profile as an assassin if people think I have magic," Elsa murmured back.

"Oh, of course," Kristoff muttered.  Watching Anna a bit more, he said, "Does she normally do this?" 

"Well, usually only with Joan of Arc," Elsa said softly, pointing, and Kristoff took a good look at the picture Anna was having her animated conversation with.  It was a portrait of the French heroine, sword lifted in defiance, inanimately listening to Anna jabber on about her life.

"Anna?  Are you okay?" Kristoff asked, and the redhead jumped.

"Oh, hi, Kristoff!" she squealed, bouncing up and down on tiptoes.  "I'm fine, just fine!  I'm not quite done yet, but I'll be done in a jiffy!"  Turning back to the portrait, she said, "Chat with you later, Joan!"  With that, Anna resumed her frenetic dusting of the pictures.

Watching her go, Kristoff said to Elsa, "Four straight hours?"

"Yup."

"And she's been through the stairwell how many times?"

"About four, now," Elsa replied, grinning.

Kristoff looked at her, eyes narrowing.  "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yup!" Elsa strode over to the dining table, picking up the chocolate wrapper that was still sitting there, and offered it to Kristoff.

Kristoff looked it over twice, then muttered, "She's not coming down from this anytime soon, is she?"

"Probably not," the blonde replied.  "And I have a job tonight, so I was wondering if you could keep an eye on her for me . . .?"

"I . . . guess so," Kristoff said, crinkling the wrapper in his hands nervously.

"Just don't let her leave the house," Elsa said.  "If you have to stay the night—and you probably will—there's a guest bed available, or you can use the couch."  She ticked off the items on each finger.  "Maybe you can talk her into eating something—just not the whole fridge, okay?  Please don't let her dance with the cats.  And whatever you do . . ."  Her voice dropped, and Kristoff could feel the room temperature drop with it, ". . . _do not_ let her have any more caffeine!"

Kristoff glanced at the corner of the kitchen where the multitude of cans and bags of coffee and tea sat next to the coffee maker.  _Great.  This is gonna be a loooonnng night . . ._


	5. Space Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa is out of coffee (AND nuclear coffee chocolate), so Anna has to get some in her system before she gets too loopy.  Word count: 700.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This silly fic was inspired by an Ultrafacts post on Tumblr (paraphrased in the TV caption below), and the subsequent conversation.  Snow Sisters, in Ultranos's Domestic Assassin AU.

It was just another day of studying for Anna Arendelle.  Go to class, work, work, work, study, study, study.  _Do I really have to do this for_ four whole years?

It was times like this that made her grateful for any change of pace, any interruption.  Getting a phone call, for instance, was refreshing.  Usually.

"Anna, Anna, this is an emergency!" the voice on the other end cried, before Anna even had a chance to say hello.

Anna leapt to her feet.  "Elsa?  Are you all right?  Where are you?"

"I'm in the kitchen."  Her sister's voice sounded tired—well, tireder than usual.

"Please tell me you didn't cut yourself again."  That had happened slicing a piece of fruit—the simplest kitchen activity imaginable.  But for Elsa, first thing in the afternoon after a long night, _nothing_ was simple.

"No, I'm fine, but, but . . . _we're out of coffee!"_

 _Oh._   "Do you have any of those nuclear coffee chocolate bars left?" Anna asked.

"No, I ate the last one yesterday."

That _was_ a problem.  Without Elsa properly caffeinated, she couldn't do her job, and the head of that Org of hers would be cross with her.  If she got fired, that meant no money to pay for the house and utilities, and for Anna's classes.  _No work, and no studying.  On second thought, that wouldn't be so . . . No.  Have to fix this._

"Okay, Elsa, calm down," she said.  "I'll pick up a bunch of your favorite coffee after my last class.  Do you think you can manage until then?"

"I think so."

"Could you do me a big favor in return, Elsa?"  Anna put on her best big-little sister voice.  "Please, please, for the love of God, don't get any insane ideas of making your own coffee.  You know what happened the last time."

"'Kay, _Mom,"_ Elsa replied.  "I'll just sit here and twiddle."

 _Oh, good, she's awake enough to snark._   "Just eat some normal chocolate for now, okay, Elsa?" she said.  "I'll see you in a bit."  Ending the call, she turned back to her never-ending biology notes.  _Maybe she'll be all right . . ._

* * *

Anna stopped at the specialty coffee place on the way home, and bought as many bags of Elsa’s favorite as she could hold.  She didn't really enjoy being an enabler for Elsa's insane and probably unhealthy coffee habit, but it was better than the alternative.

When she got home, she carried the giant bag of coffee into the house, half expecting her sister to rush up and grab some.  Instead, she found her sitting on the floor of the living room, slouched up against the couch.  She seemed oblivious to the cat perched on her head, captivated instead by some spacy science program on television.

"Hiiiii, Anna," she drawled, looking up for a moment.  "D'you know that there's coffee in spaaaaace?"

Anna glanced at the caption on the screen: _"Star discovered 75 ly away is no hotter than a fresh-brewed cup of coffee."_

 _Well, I guess she hasn't completely lost her mind yet,_ she thought.  "That's fascinating, Elsa.  Look, I brought you some coffee."  She held up the bag.

Elsa stared at it for all of two seconds before looking back up at Anna.  "Is it _spaaaaace_ coffee?"

"No, it's . . ."  She trailed off, watching as her sister made that sad-eyed puppy face she always did when she wanted something.  Anna sighed.  "Sure, Elsa . . . it's the spaciest.  I'll go and make you some, okay?"

"Yay!" Elsa said happily, then turned back to her program.

Anna went to the kitchen, quickly loading the coffeemaker and starting it.  She hoped that a double-strength pot would be enough.  She returned to the living room, deciding to watch the TV with Elsa while she waited.  The science program had since moved on to talking about some of Jupiter's moons.

"Look, Anna . . . coffee moon!" Elsa said dreamily, pointing at a picture of Europa on the screen.

Anna had to admit that it did look a bit like coffee with cream, or hot cocoa.  _I hope she doesn't remember babbling like this when she comes around,_ Anna thought.  Still, it _was_ kind of amusing to see Elsa literally space out.


	6. Lock and Key (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is fed up with Elsa’s late nights, so she decides to make her and her “killing instinct” take a break for the weekend by hiding all of the coffee in the house.  Chaos ensues, as Elsa tries everything in her desperation to get the key to the coffee from Anna.  Word count (whole story, WIP): 3,225.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this fic goes way back to a chat I had with a fellow DA!verse writer in January, about what would happen if DA!verse Anna, for whatever reason, hid all of the coffee in the house... from her assassin sister.  (This and another chat from around the same time provided some inspiration for the aftermath, which will be shown in the following parts.)
> 
> This will be the first of my DA!verse fics to be broken into parts, mostly because I wanted to post some of it for Snow Sisters Week.  There will be Snow Sisters conflict and eventual fluff.

"Oh _come on!"_   If her sister was here right now, Anna Arendelle would probably be shaking her until she saw some sense, but all that she could shake at the moment was her phone.  She was pacing in the living room, fuming for the millionth time about having an assassin for a sister.

"Elsa, I've been trying to arrange this movie night, sisters-only party . . . thing . . . for _months_ now!"

 _"I'm sorry, Anna."_   At least Elsa had the decency to sound genuinely regretful.  _"They gave me another late night job, and I can't sit this one out."_

"Are you _sure?"_

There was a pause on the line.  _"Well, I_ could _let Ruth take it,"_ Elsa admitted, _"but I'm the better shot, and D promised me a bonus . . ."_

Anna chuckled softly at the mention of Elsa's interesting "coworker", or whatever fellow assassins were called.  She hadn't met the woman, but they'd spoken on the phone on one of Elsa's sick days, and she recalled her as being alarmingly cheerful for her line of work.  Ruth was deadly, though, or so Elsa claimed.

"D", the secretive head of the Org, had spoken to Anna several times since she had learned about Elsa's true occupation.  Though the man was very serious about his "business", he was usually amiable towards Anna, which had spared Elsa from a tongue lashing on at least one occasion.

Lost in her thoughts, a cat's sharp yowl was all the warning Anna had before she found herself stumbling and falling onto the carpet. _"Aaaahh!"_

_"Anna, are you all right?"_

"I tripped on Olaf."  The small white cat looked offended that Anna could have missed seeing him.

 _"And you accuse_ me _of being clumsy,"_ Elsa giggled.

"Well, you _are."_   Deciding that she'd paced long enough, Anna sat cross-legged on the carpet, Olaf promptly jumping on her lap.

 _"Only when I don't get enough coffee."_   Anna swore she could hear a slurp from the other end.  _"Give me enough coffee, and I'm as sharp as a tack, killing instinct and all."_

Anna groaned, and tried to distract herself, scratching the cat behind his ears with her free hand.  "Just for a bonus, Elsa?  _Really?"_

_"It would mean more money left over after paying for your classes . . ."_

"You are the _worst,_ Elsa."

_"Please, Anna, let me take this job.  I promise I'll make it up to you."_

_What year?_ Anna thought.  "Fine, do your job.  But these constant late nights need to stop _sometime._   We've barely gotten to see each other lately, let alone hang out."

"You _try talking to D,"_ the other woman grumbled.  _"Trying to get time off, especially with so few of us at the Org, is like pulling teeth."_

"I just might!"  An idea occurred to her, and she added, "But I might not have to."

 _"Wait, what?"_ Elsa said, confused.

"Never mind, Elsa—carry on with your job.  Don't want to keep D waiting."

There was a sigh of relief from the other end.  _"Good night, Anna."_

"'Night, Elsa.  I'll see you in the morning."  Ending the call, Anna tried to get up, but Olaf and his purring were making it very difficult.

Elsa did have a good point—getting time off from the Org was difficult.  In fact, the only times she could recall Elsa getting any breaks were for bereavement, three years ago (two weeks off), and whenever she got shot (one week); thankfully, the latter didn't happen very often, but it was much too often for Anna's comfort.

Then there was the "coffee zombie" incident, which D had grudgingly given her a day to rest from.  Anna knew from that experience that depriving Elsa of all caffeine was a big mistake, but there had to be some way to safely protest her ridiculous late hours.  Like, maybe a weekend without coffee.  Elsa still had caffeinated chocolate she could eat, enough for a few days at least.  Surely that would be safe.

All Anna had to figure out now was where to put all of the coffee, and how to keep Elsa from getting to it.  Scooping up Olaf and perching him on her shoulder, she stood and went to the kitchen to plan.

* * *

Elsa yawned, stretching her arms in the air, and looked at the clock.  _11 AM.  Great.  So much for sleeping until noon._   Her late night mission was successful, and it _had_ been a difficult shot, so she was probably right to have taken it. And she didn't have any missions lined up for today, so she might actually be able to spend time with Anna after all.

Dressing in a T-shirt and jeans, rather than her usual shirt and slacks, she headed downstairs to the kitchen to get some coffee.  It looked like Anna had done some extra tidying up while she was asleep, for the counter where she kept most of her coffee was bare.  The coffeepot had also been moved, and when she checked the cupboards, there was no coffee in them, either.  She was relieved to find her bars of Wakeful Chocolate still in the cupboard where she kept them, but the lack of coffee was alarming.

"Good morning, Elsa!" Anna said cheerfully as she came into the kitchen from wherever she'd been hiding—the dining room, probably.

"Anna," she said, making her best effort to keep her temper while still being firm.  _"Where.  Is.  My.  Coffee?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The title of this work is the name of a song by my favorite rock group of late, Rush.  It seemed appropriate; the song's refrain goes like this:_
> 
> "I don't want to face the killer instinct  
> Face it in you or me  
> So we keep it under lock and key."
> 
> _Which, naturally, made me think of DA!Elsa._
> 
> _– This is notable for being my first DA!verse fic to mention Elsa's boss, "D" (created by frozenartscapes) by name, and my first DA fic to have an OC of my own.  (Some of you will probably figure out that it's an expy of another fictional character. ;)  I may be giving her a small part in a later fic, if not this one.)_


	7. Lock and Key (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is fed up with Elsa’s late nights, so she decides to make her and her “killing instinct” take a break for the weekend by hiding all of the coffee in the house.  Chaos ensues, as Elsa tries everything in her desperation to get the key to the coffee from Anna.  Word count (whole story, WIP): 3,225.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with this.  Presenting Part 2 of this silly DA!verse story, in which Anna discovers that Elsa will go to great lengths to get her coffee back.

"Where's my coffee, Anna?" Elsa asked.

"I put it away."  Anna sounded much too cheerful for such a serious situation.  "I think your _killing instinct_ needs to take a day or two off."

"Anna, you know that I _need_ caffeine in my system—"

"That's why I left the Wakeful Chocolate," Anna interrupted.  "That should do _just fine."_

"But . . . but . . . coffee!"  She put on the saddest face she could make.

"Sorry Elsa, the puppy dog eyes routine isn't going to work this time.  You'll just have to rest this weekend."

"But Anna, I was already _going_ to, at least today," Elsa explained.  "I don't have any missions scheduled."

Anna looked almost remorseful at this, and Elsa thought she might change her mind.  Sadly, the moment passed.  "That won't stop D from springing something on you."

Elsa thought for a moment.  "I could turn my phone off."

"At which point he'll call _me,"_ Anna pointed out, "and I'll convince him that you need a break."

"You'll _try_ to."

"Come on, I can be convincing enough!"

Elsa rolled her eyes.  "Anna, telling D that you'll sic Sven on him _isn't_ going to work."

"That was _one time,"_ Anna insisted.  "No, I'm going to use the old fashioned "our parents would want Elsa to spend time with her sister once in a while" excuse."

"Oh _come on!"_ Elsa whined.  Anna raised an eyebrow, clearly amused at the ironic echo of the previous night.  "There has to be a way I can convince you to let me have coffee."

"'Fraid not, Elsa.  I have Kristoff and Tadashi on "duty" outside, so if you try to go into town to get coffee, they'll stop you.  As for your own coffee, I've put it away in a very _safe_ place, and only I know where the key is."  Her smug expression suddenly changed to one of horror, and she started to back away.  "I probably shouldn't have told you that last part . . ."

 _"Gimme!"_ Elsa yelled, trying to grab her, but only catching air, her sister having hastily retreated to the living room.

"Elsa, please," Anna began as Elsa entered the room, "there's no need to— _oof!"_   Elsa tackled her to the carpet, knocking the wind out of her.

As a professional assassin, Elsa had been trained to learn everything about a target before striking.  Anna was obviously _not_ a target; the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her.  After eighteen years, though, Elsa knew every last one of her weaknesses.  And the most important one was . . .

 _"NO!"_ Anna shrieked, legs and arms flailing, fighting back giggles and her sister's hands at the same time.  _"Not t-the t-tickle attack!"_

 _"Where's the key, Anna?"_ Elsa demanded, tickles never stopping.  She bit back a curse as one of Anna's feet banged her on the shin.

"I'll—I'll never t-tell—Elsa, _staaahp!"_

"I'll stop if you give me the key."

"I _c-can't!"_ Anna howled, still struggling.  A flailing hand came a bit too close to Elsa's head, resulting in a knock to the jaw.

 _"Ow!_   What do you mean, _you can't?"_

"B-because _I d-don't have it!"_

"Wait, what?"  She stopped tickling, giving Anna the opportunity to break free and move a safe distance away.

Her sister smirked.  "You didn't really think I would just have it in my pocket or something, where you could easily take it from me, did you?"  She took a deep breath.  "It's in a _safe_ place, just like the coffee."

 _"Aaarrggh!"_   Elsa leapt to her feet and stormed off, leaving her bemused sister sitting on the living room floor.

Going back to the kitchen, she went to the cupboard and pulled out some of the Wakeful Chocolates Anna had deigned to leave her.  _Might as well have_ some _caffeine,_ she thought, _before I tear this place apart._

* * *

Anna watched as Elsa ran off, thankful that the tickle torture was over.  She was puzzled, though, as to why Elsa would abandon her pursuit of the key so soon.  _No, she's just taking a break,_ she thought, hearing the sound of chocolate bar wrappers crinkling.  _She wouldn't give up that easily, not when coffee's at stake._

Hearing her phone start to ring, she pulled it out and glanced at the number, and was relieved to see that it wasn't D.  (She didn't _really_ think he would call her preemptively, but this problem she had created _may_ have increased her paranoia a little.)  She swiped her thumb, then picked herself up off the floor and flopped into the armchair.  "Hey, Kristoff."

 _"Hi, Anna."_   Kristoff Bjorgman's tone sounded halfway between amused and annoyed.  _"Hamada and I have the perimeter secure, as you asked."_

"Is Tadashi okay with that?"  It was a little late to be asking that, but she'd gotten to know Tadashi Hamada pretty well since he'd started hanging out with Elsa, and knew that he cared about her.

_"Yeah, he's fine—he knows you won't repeat your mistake from last time.  So, what happens now?"_

"Now . . . I keep her company, and hope she doesn't snap."  She heard clattering noises coming from one of the rooms upstairs.  _That had better not be my room!_   "Orrrrr I keep her from tearing the house apart."

_"Do you need help with that?"_

"No, no, I can handle it," she insisted, the rummaging sounds continuing in the background.  "I mean, what's she going to do?  She doesn't want to actually _hurt_ me—and _won't,_ unless she goes all ice-crazy—"

_"Are you sure you locked everything up?"_

"I _think_ so.  Aside from the obvious, I made today the day to wash _all_ of the knives and silverware."  She had loaded the dishwasher just before Elsa came out, so even if Elsa did turn into a caffeine-deprived ice zombie, there wouldn't be anything sharp just laying around.

_"Good plan."_

"Anyway, I've already gotten through a tickle attack."  Barely; Anna didn't know how much longer she could have lasted.

 _"Ooh, she's vicious."_   There was a pause.  _"Are you_ sure _that there's nothing else she can use as a weapon?"_

"Well . . ."  The truth was, Anna only knew that she'd secured all of the _lethal_ items around the house.  Suddenly she realized that the house had gone eerily silent, so much so that she could have heard a pin drop.  She leaped up.  "Kristoff, has she broken the perimeter?"

 _"No, we haven't seen anything,"_ Kristoff replied, voice becoming urgent.  _"Is everything all right?"_

"I . . . I'm not sur— _aaah!"_   She was standing near the front door when something pelted her in the arm, thankfully not the one holding her phone.  She whirled around, but didn't see Elsa.  She looked around, then bent down and picked up a small foam dart, the kind used in children's toy guns, off the floor.

 _You have_ got _to be kidding me,_ she thought.  Aloud, she said, "I'd better go, Kristoff . . . I think Elsa found a foam dart gun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Yes, Tadashi is in this fic too, and is not new to this AU, having appeared in some of frozenartscapes's stories.  (Like Kristoff, he's only in a supporting role.)  I mostly wanted to include him here so that Kristoff would have some backup._
> 
> _– I have no idea how their house/apartment is laid out, so your guess is as good as mine._


	8. Bus Stop (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the song by The Hollies, it’s a romance that begins at a bus stop.  Semi-wealthy heiress Anna Aren runs out to the bus without her umbrella, and it starts raining.  A tall, blond stranger rescues her, and agrees to help her out for the day, leading to a budding relationship.  Word count (so far, WIP): 675.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a break from "Lock and Key" for a while since, except for this weekend, I lack the time and energy to write the length of chapter that Part 3 will require (mostly because of school stuff).  So, last night, I was thinking about Kristanna Week, and I had a sudden burst of inspiration for one of the fics on my writing list.  So, this is _not_ DA!verse, but is a modern AU—the first of a series of stories in the "Heiress AU".  Kristanna fluff. :)

Anna _hated_ waiting for the bus.

Well, maybe not _hate,_ exactly, but it wasn't fun.  Often it was because there was no one else at her stop to talk to.  

That was why she liked riding the bus instead of driving—there were so many people to talk to, and even if some of them ignored her, there was always one or two who would listen politely while she rambled about whatever was on her mind.

But the main reason today that waiting for the bus was not fun was that it was _raining._   And Anna, in her haste to catch her usual bus, had left her umbrella at home.

So here she stood, getting more soaked by the minute in her rather useless hoodie.  She wondered how long it would be until the bus arrived; because it was raining, she didn't want to risk getting her phone wet to check the time.

Then, just as she was considering returning home to fetch her umbrella, the rain suddenly stopped.  Or, at least, it stopped for about a foot around her, and continued coming down everywhere else.

Looking up, she saw an umbrella over her head.  Her eyes followed the umbrella down the pole to the handle, and all the way up the muscular arm to to face of her rescuer, a blond man maybe a little older than she.

"Hi," he said, wiping rainwater from his face.  "You looked like you could use an umbrella."

"Uh . . . hi!"  Anna struggled for words; he wasn't particularly handsome, but he was at least a head taller than her, with broad shoulders.  "Yeah, I kind of left mine at home.  Thank you!"

"No problem, Miss . . .?"

"Aren . . . Anna Aren."

"Kristoff Bjorgman," the man said, offerend his hand, which she shook politely.  Then he frowned.  "Wait . . . not the _Arendelle_ Arens?"

"Uh . . . yeah?"  The Arens were well-known locally as somewhat well off, if not filthy rich.  Most of this publicity came from the tragic accident that claimed her parents a few years back, and she and her sister Elsa inheriting their house and fortune.

Kristoff raised an eyebrow.  "Why in the world are you riding the bus?"  She frowned, and he quickly added, "I mean, surely you have a car or chauffeur?"

"I ride the bus to meet people," she said simply.  "But there's usually no one to talk to until I'm actually _on_ the bus."

"Well, Miss Aren, I'd be glad to keep you company.  And, uh, keep you dry."

"That's very kind of you," she said, smiling.  "But please, call me Anna."

"Anna," he echoed.  "So, if you don't mind my asking, where are you headed?"

"Oh, just shopping.  I was going to go look at some dresses, since I heard there was a sale, and I need one or two more because I was kind of rough on one of mine.  But I don't know if I can keep them dry all the way home . . ."

"Let me help you out," Kristoff offered.  "It's the least I can do for a pretty girl like you."  He suddenly clapped his hand to his mouth, face turning red, as if he'd just realized what he had said.

Anna felt herself blushing; she was starting to like this fellow more and more.  "I'd like that . . . Kristoff."

When the bus arrived, they boarded and sat on a seat together.  And for once, Anna wasn't disappointed about not talking to the other people on the bus.

Anna shopped around almost all day, Kristoff with his umbrella in tow, and she did find a couple of dresses that she liked.  She even went so far as to ask Kristoff how he thought they looked on her, and was amused when he couldn't come up with anything more than a breathless _"great!"_

When she boarded the bus once again to take her home, Kristoff was holding her hand.  And Anna thought, as he held her hand all the way home, that the two of them would be seeing a lot more of each other in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _–The premise and title of the fic were mostly inspired by the song "Bus Stop", by The Hollies (1966).  Some inspiration for the fic may have come from_ last _October's Kristanna Week prompt "Rain", which is when I added it to my writing list.  It doesn't really fit with any of this year's prompts, though "I don't take people places" may come close._
> 
>  
> 
> _– I'm still not 100% sure about the specifics of this modern AU: Anna and Elsa are orphans who inherit their parents' fortune and manor house.  Anna is as free-spirited as in the canon!verse, while Elsa is more reclusive, focusing on her studies or something.  Kristoff is just an ordinary guy who suddenly wanders into Anna's life on a rainy day._


	9. Silence of Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My first Shardsverse and Elsarik entry, a short, fluffy fic based on an earlier headcanon.  Alarik experiences a bit of a role reversal, with him retiring from his studies in the lab early, and discovering that Elsa has fallen asleep at her desk.  Word count: 587.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my contribution for the third anniversary of _Frozen_.  It is set in Searlait's "Shardsverse" alternate canon.  The POV is of one of her OCs, Alarik, who in this canon is Elsa's husband and father of their two children.  It is unfortunately very short, but this is the first time I've seriously attempted to write Alarik.  That said, feedback is appreciated! :)

Alarik returned his pen to its stand, very nearly upsetting the bottle of ink nearby.  He hastily stoppered it; these were very important papers on Shards cell research, after all, and his distress from a spill on one of them could wake the whole castle.

He sighed, glancing at the clock over the fireplace, which burned low at this late hour.  It was just past midnight; Anna's family and his own children would have long since gone to bed.  Normally, by the time _he_ got to bed, Elsa would be there already, and would often express her disapproval of his late hours when he awoke.

Tonight, though, Alarik was too tired to stay in the lab late, and decided that his work could wait until morning.  Since his wife was undoubtedly still awake, he figured he could spend some time with her before bed, even if it was just keeping her company.

Closing the door behind him, he observed the silence of the castle hallways as he walked towards the grand staircase.  The only other people around to notice, of course, were the guards, who paid the Prince Consort little mind when he passed by them.  Alarik figured that they were probably used to his odd hours.

It was equally silent when he reached the Queen's study.  Normally, there were the occasional sounds of rustling parchment, or the clink of a pen in the ink bottle.  Tonight, there was nothing.  Alarik had considered checking in on Jenny and Dag before visiting Elsa, but the silence worried him.  He knocked on the door, and when no answer came, he opened it and stuck his head in.

The source of the silence, to his relief, was snoring softly at the desk, with her head resting on one arm.  Even after a long day, she was still beautiful.

"Oh, darling," Alarik chided gently, though Elsa probably couldn't hear him.  He walked to the desk, and stoppered her ink bottle, knowing that these papers were probably much more important than his own.  Placing her abandoned pen in its stand, he decided that he would try to carry her to bed.

For a moment, he hesitated, knowing that she did not always desire physical contact, even with him.  Brushing a hand on one of hers, he smiled at the warmth there, and knew that she was content.

Picking her up was a challenge, not because she was heavy, but because he wasn't really good at this sort of thing.  He finally managed to get one arm under her knees and the other supporting the rest of her, and gently lifted her from the chair.

His actions did not go entirely unnoticed.  "No . . . wanna finish," Elsa mumbled sleepily into his chest.

"Darling, you're exhausted.  You need to get some sleep."

"But . . . but . . ."

"Shhh," he whispered, and her sleepy protests eventually subsided.  Making his way to the stairs again, he was suddenly grateful that Elsa was not wearing an ice dress, because that would have made his task all the more difficult.

When they arrived at the family wing, Alarik managed to get a hand free to open the door to their quarters.  The only other sound in the hall was what he guessed was his sister-in-law's snoring.

Laying Elsa gently into their bed, he pulled the covers over her, then bent down and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.  "Sweet dreams, min älskling," he murmured.  As he turned to dress for bed himself, he thought he saw a smile touch her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _–Elsa and Alarik's children, Jenny and Dag, are mentioned in passing here.  Anna and Kristoff are married in this canon, and have a daughter, Neta._


	10. Ice Knowing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-reveal.  Officer Kristoff Bjorgman and his squad spot Elsa out on one of her jobs—and Kristoff has to somehow ensure that she _gets away_.  Word count: 1,066.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally submitted to me early last month by Frenzy5150 as a "made-up fic title" prompt, and I wound up writing a whole fic for it.  I decided that the Domestic Assassin AU would work best for the prompt, since the titular phrase seemed like just the sort of punny thing Elsa might say.  A rare Ice Bros fic—enjoy!

Kristoff Bjorgman knew that he would find himself in many dangerous or unusual situations working in the police force.  Putting on a show for the rest of his his squad that looked good enough, but still allowed the criminal to get away, was far from what he would have expected.

"Look, in that alley—the Ice Queen!" one of the other officers hissed over the radio.

He had obviously spotted what Kristoff now saw, lurking in the shadows—a small blonde haired figure in a dark jumpsuit, carrying a sniper rifle.  It was, indeed, the "domestic assassin" that had eluded the police time and time again.  She was also his girlfriend's sister, who he had sworn to protect, and that presented a problem.

"Hold your fire!" he snapped.  "We can't let her get away, but we're to take her _alive."_   He drew his own weapon.  "Understand?"

"Yes, sir!"

Outside of the shadowy Org, Elsa Arendelle's powers of ice and snow were known to only a few.  To the majority of the police force, they were just rumor, and what gave her the nickname of "Ice Queen".  What they said really made her dangerous, though, was that she was a very competent fighter, both with firearms and hand-to-hand combat.

Kristoff hoped like hell that Elsa really _was_ as good a fighter as she claimed to be, or he would have a _lot_ of explaining to do to Anna.  He approached the alley, and shouted, "Ice Queen, halt!"

Elsa looked up, seemingly startled, and started to back away.

"Don't move!  Surrender, in the name of the law, or we will have to use force!"  He looked her square in the eye, then, and gave her a wink that he hoped no one else saw.

She smirked.  Planting one foot firmly on the ground in front of her, she took a fighting stance and called, "Come and get me, then, if you dare!"

"Move in!" Kristoff shouted, and charged, quickly glancing to ensure his men did the same.

The first officer went down right away, slipping on the almost invisible ice that was now on the ground.  The next two officers were more wary, but still had great difficulty keeping their footing.  Kristoff very nearly fell himself, but he'd had the foresight long ago, shortly after meeting Elsa, to invest in the very best traction footwear.

He smiled grimly.  Even those who saw Elsa's magic in person didn't believe it—the icy trick she had pulled here, subtly stamping her foot, could be explained away by her somehow splashing water on the ground without them noticing.  Which then iced over.  On a warm evening, in July.  Right.

Sgt. Wesel, though—he believed the rumors.  Kristoff didn't dare tell him that it really _was_ "sorcery" that she possessed, or he would risk revealing his association with Elsa, and put _both_ of the Arendelle sisters in jeopardy.  To say nothing of losing his job and probably going to prison himself, for aiding and abetting, obstruction of justice . . .

He shook the unpleasant thoughts away.  Right now, he had to focus on getting to Elsa, and then somehow getting _both_ of them out of this.  He stood his ground, waiting for his squad to pick themselves up.  

Elsa, meanwhile, had jumped onto a dumpster, and was watching the comedic display with thinly veiled amusement.  "Are you boys sure that you can catch me?" she said.

"We can try!" one of the officers shot back, hastily charging her again, and again faceplanting for his trouble.

"We have to stop her!" another shouted after watching his friend go down.  The second officer stood as best as he was able, took aim with his handgun, and fired.

He had aimed low—probably for the knees—but Kristoff hadn't given any order to open fire.  _"Hold your . . ._ fire . . ."  He trailed off at the sight of Elsa completely unharmed, as if the bullet had never even reached her.

There were murmurs of "What the hell?" and "Did she dodge it?"  The officer responsible for firing the first shot looked baffled for a moment, then let out a wordless yell and proceeded to empty his clip in Elsa's direction.  Kristoff watched closely as some unseen . . . _something_ slowed the bullets in midair, causing them to fall short of their intended target.

Now the murmurs changed to cries of "Retreat!" and "Run away!", the other officers turning and running away, apparently scared out of their minds.  Now Kristoff was left to face Elsa alone.

"The Weasel isn't going to like this . . ." Kristoff muttered, turning his radio off and walking towards the alley.  He felt an unnatural bite to the air as he neared her.

"He'll probably be madder at them for chickening out," she replied, swinging down off of the dumpster.

"Uh, Elsa?  How did you, uh . . ."

Elsa waved a hand dismissively, and he heard a quiet tinkling sound behind him, as a large number of icy somethings hit the pavement.  "Tiny bits of magic ice floating in the air.  Almost invisible to the naked eye, and too small to make much of a sound when hit.  Can't afford to let them see me conjuring up anything, so this is a bit more subtle."

"Is this what you do all the time?  For a living?"

"When I'm not sniping someone from a tree or a rooftop?"  She shrugged.  "Yeah, sometimes.  It's not always practical, though, and it's not always easy to conceal magical ice."  She looked at him then, still standing with his handgun at the ready.  "Shouldn't you put that away?"

"I have a secret to protect, too, you know," Kristoff answered, "and I have to make it look like I'm still trying to do my job.  In case any of them come back.  You know, with reinforcements."

"Sure."  She was silent for a moment, then said, "Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint them.  And I can't exactly have you following me."

"Wait, Elsa, what are you— _aah!!"_   Elsa thrust her hands forward, and suddenly Kristoff was surrounded up to his chest in solid ice.  "Elsa, wait, I'll freeze!"

"Oh, you'll be fine, Kristoff.  It'll melt fairly soon."

 _"How_ soon??"

"An hour or so."  She smirked at the horror on his face.  _"'Ice_ knowing you, Officer!"  With that, she collected her rifle and gear, and ran.

 _I bet she's been waiting all year to make that pun,_ he thought ruefully.


	11. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the “Twelve Days of Elsarik” prompt of the same name.  Alarik starts kissing Elsa in the hallways unexpectedly, and she suspects that someone has set her up.  Features my first attempt at writing the Shards kids (Neta, Jenny, and Dag).  Word count: 1,151.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my VERY late entry for Twelve Days of Elsarik 2016, the annual holiday-themed Elsa x Alarik writing event set in Searlait's "Shardsverse".  I chose the "Mistletoe" prompt, but couldn't come up with a better title.

It started with an encounter outside her study, a couple of days before Yule Day.

Elsa had decided to take a break from her never-ending paperwork, and go spend some time with her children.  But she hadn't taken two steps out the door before she realized that Alarik was standing there.  Before she could ask him why, he took her in his arms and kissed her.

"What was _that_ for?" she asked, breathless. "A belated birthday gift?"

He smiled, and said, "Oh, just because you're beautiful, darling."

"Thank you, Alarik, that's very sweet of you," she replied, puzzled by his coyness. 

She had a similar experience the following day, in the hallway outside the Council chamber.  She could feel every eye on them as he spun her around and dipped her.

"You know," she said, when she got her breath back, "this is unusual behavior for you."

"Do I need an excuse to kiss my wife?"

"When there are a half dozen or more councilmen watching?  Maybe."

"I'm sorry, darling," he said, letting her go.  "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly.  "Just . . . maybe with fewer people around?"

"As you wish," he said, bowing mock-politely.  Elsa covered a giggle with her hand.

Sometime later that day, she encountered Anna.  Her sister was all energy, as usual, running around the castle putting up Yule Day decorations.

"You look like you're having a good day," Anna commented.

Elsa knew her sister very well, and did not miss the slight smirk on her face.  "Did you have something to do with Alarik's, uh . . . sudden forwardness?"

"Who, me?"  Anna wore the most innocent face in all of Arendelle.  "I would never."

"All right, Anna," Elsa said, looking her squarely in the eye.  "But I _am_ going to get to the bottom of this."  She grinned, and added, "Even if I have to subject someone to tickle torture."

Anna looked horrified.  "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would," she replied, and walked away, leaving her sister sweating.

She found Alarik in his laboratory, fussing over a pile of manuscripts.  As she expected, the moment he saw her enter, he leaped up and crashed into her, face first.

When they broke for air, she asked, "Has Anna talked to you recently?"

Alarik's face went blank.  "No more than usual.  Why?"

"Oh, no reason."  Obviously, Alarik knew _something._

Alarik could sense that she didn't believe him, apparently, because he suddenly said, "Jenny wanted to do some decorating the other day.  She said she had some things to hang up, so I helped her reach."

"Well, I'm glad she's getting into the holiday spirit," Elsa replied, understanding beginning to dawn.  "And, um, where did she say she got these things?"

Alarik looked rather sheepish.  ". . . Anna."

"I see . . ."  Glancing above the door of the laboratory, she found the last piece of the puzzle.  There, hanging where anyone who knew it was there would see it, was a sprig of mistletoe.

 _Why, that sneaky little . . .!_   Anna had obviously engineered this so that she could deny putting the mistletoe up—which was technically true—and so that Alarik would know exactly where they were.

With a wave of her hand, she made a little gust of icy wind deposit the plant in her palm.  "Let's go talk to Jenny," she said cheerfully.

Alarik paled.  "You're not going to punish her, surely?"

"No, no, of course not," Elsa assured him.  "I _am_ going to teach her something, though."

On their way to the nursery, the pair found Anna, still in decorating overdrive.

"Anna," Elsa said, "when you're done with that, do you think you could join us in the nursery?"

She saw a flicker of unease cross Anna's face, but just as quickly it was gone.  "Yeah, sure."

When they arrived in the nursery, Anna's daughter Neta was there, keeping an eye on her young cousins, Jenny and Dag.  Dag was on the floor, playing with toys, and Jenny was absorbed in a book.

Elsa sighed; her children were almost the same ages that she and Anna had been on that night so long ago, when everything changed for them.

"Aunt Elsa," Neta greeted.  "Uncle Alarik.  What brings you both here?"

"I came to speak with Jenny," Elsa replied, "but you can stay, if you want."

"Mama, is something wrong?" Jenny asked, looking up from her reading.

"No, nothing's wrong."  Elsa knelt down in front of her daughter.  "I just wanted to ask you some things.  Were you helping Papa decorate a few days ago?"

"Yes."

"Is it true that Aunt Anna gave you some things to put up?"

"Yes."

"Did they look like this?"  She produced the sprig of mistletoe she'd taken down.

"Mistletoe, yes."

"And do you know what mistletoe is for?"

"It's . . . um . . . a decorative . . ." She trailed off, blushing.

"Go on, tell her, Jenny," Neta said, grinning.

"People . . . kiss under it." Jenny finished, staring down at her book.

"That's right," Elsa said.  "And because he helped you, your papa knows where each of them is."  She winked at Alarik, and he chuckled.

Jenny tucked back a loose lock of auburn hair, looking nervous.  "Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not, little one," Elsa said.  "You told me the truth, so I won't have to tickle you."  Jenny breathed a sigh of relief.  "However, I _do_ need to teach you what happens when someone plays a prank on your mama."

She said it in a semi-severe tone, not stern enough to frighten Jenny, but enough for Anna to come bursting through the door.  "Elsa, _wait—"_

Without turning around, Elsa waved a hand at her sister, causing a miniature snowdrift to fall right on top of her.

 _"AAAH!"_ Anna shrieked.  _"Cold, cold, cold!!"_   Dag laughed, and Neta and Jenny were both fighting back giggles.

"That's for pranking the Queen of Arendelle," Elsa told her.  "And for fibbing, and listening at doors."

"I would have preferred the tickle torture," Anna said, brushing snow off of herself.

"That's for the children," she replied.  She put on an exaggerated grim tone of voice.  "For my sister, I show no mercy."

"Aw."  Anna looked at Jenny, then at Alarik, and said, "Which one of you spoiled the plan?"

"Don't blame them, Anna.  I figured it out on my own."  It was only partly true, but she didn't want her sister to be upset with Alarik.

Anna huffed, and sat in a chair, dejected.  "Did you at least enjoy it?"

Elsa looked at Alarik, smiled, and held the mistletoe up over her head.  Alarik grinned, took her free hand in his, and bent down to kiss her.

When Elsa opened her eyes, she looked at her family.  Jenny and Dag were both making  faces, Neta was smiling, and Anna looked insufferably pleased.

"What was that earlier, about people watching?" Alarik murmured.

Elsa shrugged.  "They're family, and technically, they asked for it."


	12. Lock and Key (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is fed up with Elsa’s late nights, so she decides to make her and her “killing instinct” take a break for the weekend by hiding all of the coffee in the house.  Chaos ensues, as Elsa tries everything in her desperation to get the key to the coffee from Anna.  Word count (whole story, WIP): 3,234.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love unannounced fic updates, don't you?  Now when was it I posted Part 2?  Last August??  *shakes head sadly*  So sorry, guys!  Here follows Part 3, in which Anna goes on the offensive in the impromptu Nerf war with Elsa.
> 
> There will probably be just one more Part, to conclude this story; I just need time and motivation to finish it.  I decided very late, on this last night of the year, to post this, just so I can say I wrote more than 4 fics in 2017.  (It has been nearly finished since the beginning of November, but I needed to rewrite the last section, and only got around to it now. XD)
> 
> (Edited 8/11/18 to fix a continuity error.)

Elsa ducked back behind the stairs, then when Anna came into view again, she squeezed off another shot.  The foam dart hit her sister in the backside, making her yelp.

 _"Elsa, stoppit!"_ she heard Anna yell.

"I'll stop when you tell me where the key is!"

"No way!"

"Now, be reasonable, Anna," she said as she loaded another dart, "you're hopelessly outmatched.  I have more than enough of these."

"You'll run out eventually, if I keep picking them up."

 _Not before I pelt you into submission,_ she thought.  "Nonsense.  Besides, you'll make yourself a target if you do that."

"Then I'll just have to fight back, won't I?"

Elsa laughed, and fired.  "With _what,_ Anna?"

"Ack!  I'll . . . I'll think of something!"

She couldn't imagine what Anna had in mind; the only supply of foam dart weapons in the house was the chest in her bedroom.  So the only way she could get one would be if she got past her up the stairs, or if she had help.

Checking to make sure her backup weapon was secure, she remained crouched beside the stairs, and loaded another dart.  Just then, she heard a brief jingle, like that of a small bell.  _One of the cats?  No, wait, our cats don't have bells on their collars . . .!_

"Lucyyyy!" she heard Anna call.  Something bounced toward her, making a jingle each time it hit the floor.  The little plastic cat toy bounced off her foot, and that was all the warning she had before a streak of black and gray flew right at her.

"Eeyah!" she cried as Lucifer bowled right into her, darting between her legs and knocking her off balance in his pursuit of the ball.  She picked herself up, then realized that, in the confusion, she had dropped her dart gun.  It was only a few feet away from her, but she couldn't get to it before her sister raced into the room and snatched it off the floor.

"See?  All I needed was a distraction," Anna said, smirking and leveling the dart gun down at her.

Never one to be defeated so easily, Elsa stuck her foot out and swept Anna's legs out from under her.  It failed to make her sister drop the dart gun, but she did land in a heap on the floor.

"Owww."  Rubbing her bottom, Anna threw her a withering glare.  "Where'd you learn to do _that?"_

Elsa pulled out her backup dart gun and got to her feet.  "What, you don't think basic martial arts was part of my Org training?"

"You, a martial artist?  Ha!"  Anna picked herself up, and did not appear to be the least bit surprised that Elsa had recovered already.

"There you go, accusing me of being clumsy again," she remarked.  "I wouldn't be able to do my job half as well if I wasn't able to maintain some grace under pressure."

"If you say so."

Suddenly, Elsa felt something hit her ankle.  It didn't hurt (she'd had much worse on the job), but it did make her look down.  The second she did, Anna rushed right at her, pushing her out of the way and running up the stairs.

"Hey!" she shouted, picking up and stuffing the offending foam dart in her pocket before darting upstairs after her sister.  Apparently, Anna had already accumulated a stock of darts from downstairs, for another one came sailing down at her.  It missed her by a few inches, and Elsa briefly wondered if she should teach Anna to improve her aim.

Reaching the top of the stairs, she saw that her bedroom door was open.  Anna had made a beeline for the foam weapons cache, blast her!  Sure enough, the moment she poked her head in the door, a stupidly large foam missile came flying at her.  Ducking out of the way, Elsa hid out of sight, muttering to herself.  _Anna is enjoying this way too much . . ._

There was a clattering of plastic—Anna pulling out more weapons, no doubt—then silence.  A loud THUD!, some inventive cursing from Anna, some more, fainter clattering and thumping, then silence again.

When no further sounds came from the room, Elsa decided to risk poking her head in again.  What she discovered made her groan in frustration: Anna had taken a sizable number of weapons from the chest, opened the window, and jumped out onto the roof with her plunder.  _That explains the cursing,_ she thought.  Anna had a ways to go to match Elsa's skills at roof parkour and climbing in and out of windows.

She was a bit worried about Anna's safety; the only safe way down from the roof was the fence, and even that jump was difficult, especially when you happen to be carrying things.  Going over to the window, she looked out, and was baffled when she saw no sign of Anna.  She then noticed the Arendal Police squad car parked on the street nearby, and remembered Anna saying that she'd brought backup.

 _Anna thought this out pretty well,_ she thought, admiring her sister's foresight.  _Not actually carrying the key, using the cats as distraction, having friendly backup if she needs it . . . Maybe I_ should _train her . . ._   Taking stock of the foam weapons that were left, Elsa prepared to go back downstairs.

* * *

"Thanks for the save," Anna said, sitting down on the front porch steps, grateful for a moment to rest.

"Not a problem."  Kristoff shook his head.  "Though if I'd known you were going to be roof-hopping, it might have been better if I had gotten a ladder . . ."

"Relax, it was a trust exercise."  Anna looked him in the eyes then.  "And I trust you."

Kristoff blushed a little, rubbing the back of his head.  "Yeah, well, I should probably get back out of sight.  I don't want to spook your sister."

"Don't bother," Anna replied.  "I already told her that you guys are here."

 _"Yeah, and besides, I'm pretty sure she's already seen us,"_ came Tadashi's voice from his radio, making him visibly jump before yanking it off his belt.

"Hamada, what did I tell you—wait, what?"  He looked around, as if they were being watched.

 _"I saw her poke her head out of the upstairs window,"_ Tadashi explained, _"and she looked right at me.  She stayed inside, though."_

"I doubt she wants to give us any trouble," Kristoff replied.  "We can handle her if she gets out.  Until then, _continue radio silence."_   He turned back to Anna.  "We can handle it, right?"

"Of course."  She hopped up, and studied her hoard of plastic weaponry.  "As long as she sticks with foam weapons, and not ice powers, or worse, we should be fine."

"You are taking a risk, though," Kristoff said, "telling her that we're here—"

"Relax," Anna said soothingly, waving a hand.  "She has no reason to suspect you're in on this."

"And if she does, and escapes . . .?"

Anna shrugged, remembering Kristoff telling her of his encounter with Elsa while on patrol.  "Then you'll probably be doing time as a Kris-sicle again."

"Thanks, Anna, that's really comforting," Kristoff said, heading back for the squad car.  "Good luck!"

"Thanks!"  Anna selected what she hoped was a semi-automatic foam rifle, and opened the front door to face her sister.


	13. The Watch Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kristoff wonders why the Arendelles have a cat watching their house. He then realizes that it isn't all that strange, given the house's occupants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a combination of several ideas, all revolving around the DA!verse Arendelles' crazy number of cats, so if it seems disjointed at all, that's why.  Snow Sisters and hints of Kristanna.

They say that "home is where the heart is".  In the Arendelle's case, it was more like "home is where the cat sits".  Theirs had to be the only house in the entire neighborhood—heck, the whole city—with a large cat sitting on the roof over the front porch, keeping watch.  As he stood regarding the animal, Kristoff Bjorgman wondered if Elsa trained it to do that, or if perhaps the cat was her familiar.  Maybe it could be called on by the Org for a dangerous mousing mission . . .

The white cat, which stood out clearly against the roof it was sitting on, did keep the neighbors and passersby wondering, and potential solicitors off balance, including Kristoff.  He thought it was strange, and wondered whether the cat would automatically attack someone in uniform—which, considering Elsa's chosen profession and need for secrecy, would make sense.  _How did such a big cat got onto the roof to begin with?_ he wondered.  As he approached the house, the cat did not move from its perch, simply continuing to stare.  _Must just be for the intimidation factor._

Glancing one last time at the feline sentinel, he walked up the porch steps and rang the bell.

"Who is it?" came Anna's voice from inside.

"It's Kristoff."

"Oh, Kristoff, hi!  Come on in, it's open."

"Really, Anna?  Isn't that kind of risky?"  He stepped inside, quickly shut the door behind him, then scanned the floor in front of him.  Sure enough, he found a cat there.

When he and Anna had started dating, she had gone over the rules of the house.  Rule Number One was "don't disturb Elsa when she's in her room", and Rule Number Two was "do not leave caffeinated beverages unattended".  But Rule Number Three was "always watch your step when entering a room".  The fluffy black and gray cat currently in his way, spread almost full-length across the entryway, promptly rolled onto its back, perhaps inviting him to rub its belly.

"You'd better not," Anna said.  "Lucifer has a bit of a temper."

Kristoff wisely decided to follow her advice, and followed her voice to the living room.  Anna was sitting in a recliner, reading a magazine ( _Nurse Fashion_ ), with a small white cat perched on the back of the chair, seemingly reading over her shoulder.

"You can relax, you know," she said.  "If any suspicious people showed up at our house, Marshmallow would raise such a commotion out there, we would know well in advance."

"So I'm not suspicious, huh?" Kristoff said wryly, indicating his uniform.

"Nooo.  Anyone _else_ wearing that uniform would probably show up in numbers, ready for a fight."

"Right."  He pointed at the cat on her chair.  "Is that cat, uh . . ."

"Reading? Ha!"  She set her magazine down on the coffee table, and turned to give the cat a scratch under the chin.  "I haven't met a cat who could read or spell, but Olaf here sure does try."  She gave him a quizzical look.  "So, what's up?  Working the beat get boring, or something?"

"I worry about you," he replied.  She gave a little smirk, and he felt himself blushing.  "With all the effort by the force to find and capture the _dreaded_ Ice Queen, I want to make sure that you two are okay."

She laughed.  "Did you do air quotes just now?"

"Well, she isn't dreadful once you get to know her.  More like a crazy cat lady."

"Crazy, huh?"  She hopped out of her chair, somehow not disturbing Olaf from his perch.  "C'mere, let me show you something."

Kristoff followed her upstairs, wondering where she was taking him.  Anna knocked softly on one of the doors, and opened it.

Elsa was actually awake, for a change.  As often happened when she was at home (or so Anna claimed), Elsa had a handful of cats for company.  There was a small one perched on her head, and several others lounging around the room.  Yet another was currently engaged in a game with Elsa, where it would half hide under the covers; Elsa would pat its little paw, or boop its nose, and the cat would retreat into its little cocoon, before mewling and poking its head out again.

"Hi, Elsa!" Anna said cheerfully.

"Hey."

"Kristoff came by to check on us."

Elsa seemed to notice him for the first time, and flinched before regaining her composure.  "Oh, hi.  Marsh let you in?"

"Uh, yeah," Kristoff said.  "He sure looked at me funny, though."

"You know, that cat is smart enough, I think I could teach it to snipe—"

_"ELSA!"_

"What?"  Elsa gave Anna an innocent look.  "I wouldn't let him shoot the fine Officer Bjorgman, here—"

"Elsa, _no."_

Elsa harrumphed.  "Oh, fine.  At least Marsh can tell friend from foe."

"Elsa, the last time your friend Ruth came to cat-sit, she claimed that he _growled_ at her."

"Well, Ruth _is_ a bit of an odd case."

"I know, right?  She's at least as crazy as the cats."

"But she's a good shot.  Anyway, I think—"

"Well, ladies," Kristoff interrupted, "I think you're both doing well.  I'd best get back to my route."

Anna looked disappointed, but said, "Oh, okay.  See you later?"

"Sure."

Back downstairs, Kristoff headed for the front door, noting that Olaf was still on the chair back, but was now sprawled hanging over the back of it.  Stepping carefully over Lucifer (who gave him a dirty look), he went back outside, and turned to regard the currently silent roof guardian.

 _Nah, not strange at all,_ he thought.

* * *

"Why do you suppose he left so suddenly?" Elsa wondered.

"Probably weirded out by the crazy cat lady and her sniping cat talk."

"Oh, come on," Elsa whined.  "Marsh is big enough.  There are plenty of obnoxious birds around, and I have a rifle _just_ the right size—"

"For the last time, _no."_

"You are no fun at all, you know that?"

Anna sighed.  "At least I make _sense._   This house has room for only one dorky assassin."  She winced, and muttered, "Can't believe I just said that . . ."

"Meanie."

"Oh, hush.  Mittens is waiting for another boop."  



End file.
